Roxette in concert la Bucuresti

Weapons of choice

Every time I become hurt, there’s this blade inside my mind that cuts through everything in its way. So shiny, so smooth, so silent! So comforting, knowing that I have it and can use it over and over again, to release my soul from any claws thrown my way. How do you think it is, dancing your pain away, rising still half asleep, pushed back up on your feet, by a power that is never dormant? Today I picked my sword up again. I wish I hadn’t…I wish it were peace…but I felt a wound bleeding from my chest. And it woke me up, lift me up savagely and I reached for my weapon. It felt like I’ve never really let it out of my hand; my fingers curled around the old handle and memories started flooding the back of my eyes. I was so good at handling the sword. Still am. So I lift it up above my head and started cutting the strings. I do it better when I’m getting a rhythm. So I called for a rhythm. My hands started moving methodically. My body entered a musical state. I w...

Four years and many dolls later

2 015 has started in complete denial for me. After over a year and a half of heartbreak, some stress that came with that and some guts that came out of nowhere and ripped some bandages covering a lot of bad bad things, I had decided it was time to practice being single. But not in a wallowing in self pity feeling sorry for myself kind of way, nor in a “men are terrible, I should only rely on pets” kind, either. Just being single and bei ng curious about every single experience, from having the morning coffee by myself, to fully functioning professionally and socially. Not that I had not been single before, but very rarely was I not “on the market”. So, half of 2014 I had been single and since December of that year, I had decided I actually was going to give this solo thing a try. It lasted four full months. It doesn’t look much in writing, either! Well, here is what happened! Armed with the will to practice curiosity and patience, I have started planning, for 2015, all those th...

Adevarul

For English version, please scroll down. Obisnuiam sa spun ca daca ar fi sa aleg intre a trai in adevar sau a trai in fericire, as alege adevarul. Nimic nu s-a schimbat. L-am cautat cu atata indarjire, incat acum, la aproape 28 de ani, mi-e teama ca sunt foarte aproape de a-l vedea in toata fragezimea lui, plesnindu-ma peste ochi cu vigoarea si sanatatea lui, indepartand cojile miturilor care mi-au tinut de cald atat vreme. Stau in fata unui boboc care inca nu s-a deschis, dar care, tachinandu-ma, face loc irisului meu curios in incaperile lui interioare, lasandu-ma la savurez cate o clipa a ceea ce mi se va infatisa in curand. Nu stiu cand a inceput calatoria mea. A fost cand am rupt legaturile dintr-o relatie abuziva in care mi-am consumat mai multe resurse emotionale decat credeam ca am? A fost cand am imbratisat cu devotament ideea tatalui meu cum ca nu exista nimic dupa moarte si m-am trezit intr-un paradox care tipa dupa explicatii? A fost cand mi-am dat seama ca mi-e frica de mo...

a cat's thoughts

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