a cat's thoughts

I remember the time I wanted to die…, actually, I never forgot. A strange shadow began circling me, something I’ve never encountered before, which left me an acute sensation of familiarity. Like a stranger you’ve known since forever. When I decided to die, the air started having a different scent. The people turned into cardboard silhouettes, interacting mechanically, abruptly, making no sense. Yes, this was the first thing I’ve noticed in the world that was preparing to out me. The nonsense that was surrounding me. I became withdrawn, slowly detaching my being from the pores of my skin, from the fingerprints, from the wrists and joints. My body became a coat that was just too large and I was beginning to stumble. I was so sylphid, so far away locked in the dark, away from the spectacle which was the existence. Any type of existence. I felt like I was having my bags packed for me and was expected to embark on a new journey. I was actually curious about what was about to happen. Wh

Imi amintesc de zilele in care am vrut sa mor…de fapt, nu am uitat niciodata. S-a cuibarit in spatele meu o umbra stranie, a ceva ce nu intalnisem niciodata pana atunci, dar care mi-a lasat o senzatie acuta de familiar. Ca un strain pe care il cunosti de cand lumea. Cand m-am hotarat sa mor, aerul a inceput sa miroasa altfel. Oamenii s-au transformat treptat in figuri de carton, interactionand mecanic, impiedicat, lipsit de …interes. Da, asta a fost primul lucru pe care l-am observat in lumea care sa pregatea sa ma expulzeze. Lipsa de interes fata de ceea ce ma inconjura. Ma retrasesem in mine, desprinzandu-ma usor de buricele degetelor de la mana, de pori, de incheieturi. Corpul imi ramasese o haina larga si ma impiedicam acum in el.   Eram atat de silfida, incuiata in intuneric, departe de spectacolul oricarui tip de existenta. Simteam ca mi se fac bagajele ca mi se pregateste iesirea. Si eram curioasa de ceea ce avea sa urmeze. Cand voi pleca? Cine imi va tine companie? Ce vo